We Are Stars
by LostInThought27
Summary: “So Lily, if you had one year left to live, what would you do?”  As Lily and James stargaze, she ponders the reality of death and losing everything in her world.  Time is ticking, and sooner or later, their hearts will stop beating and it'll all be over..


Author's Note: This is just a short Lily/James one-shot that came to my mind one night while I was procrastinating. I was inspired by a number of songs, namely "Sirens" by Real Lunch. The story is named after a line in the song, the only one that really has to do with this idea.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lily and James Potter, they belong to Jo Rowling and WB and... you get the point.

**We Are Stars**

_We are stars and we are shining into outer space_

One of our favourite things to do that summer was to set up a blanket on the roof of James's house and lie down to watch the stars. It was the most liberating feeling to have nothing above us but the endless glittering gems suspended in the dark, timelessness of the universe. It felt like looking at old photographs of people we did not know, but somehow felt close to; they were long gone, but we could still see them shining today, bright as ever. My mother used to tell me that stars were actually the eyes of those we loved that have died, gazing down on us forever. There was an odd comfort in that.

"So Lily, if you had one year left to live, what would you do?" James asked me, caressing my arm gently. I shivered at his touch, but it was warm and comforting.

"That's a bit macabre," I chuckled. I pondered for a minute, bit my lip, and smiled. "I'd spend it with you."

He laughed softly, but I rolled on top of him, letting my hair fall around our faces like curtains. I bent down, brushing my lips against his, and whispered, "I'm serious. Whatever time I have left, I want it to be with you."

"And that, my dear, shall be decades upon decades," he whispered back, pulling me down into a kiss. I'm not sure why, but this kiss was like our very first: utterly breathtaking. Perhaps it was the fact that I'd finally let him know my deepest desire, and that he shared it. Perhaps it was because it was soft and slow, yet fuelled with passion and desire to the point of literally catching my breath.

Or perhaps it was because in that moment, I realised that time was running out, and that someday it would all be gone – James, me, everything we had – and it could be in a year, in a minute, or in a decade, and that we had to make the most of it while we could. I just knew that I never wanted to break away from him. I never wanted to lose him, to lose the feeling of his touch. I never wanted to lose that comfort, that love, that pure bliss that surged through my veins whenever I felt his tongue against my tongue, his skin against my skin, his heart against my heart.

But the clock was ticking, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I could do to slow down time, to have forever with him. I was never one to cry, but when I came to this realisation, I felt a tear slowly drop from my closed eyes.

James broke the kiss, and looked at me worriedly. "What's wrong?"

I smiled sadly at him, as he tucked my hair behind my ear. My tear had fallen on his cheek was rolling down his smooth skin. I wiped it off slowly and laid my forehead against his. "This is just perfect, James. But what if it _is_ all over in a year?"

"It won't be," he said, smiling slightly. "We're going to live together for _years_, until we're old and decrepit and know eachother better than is healthy. We'll sit on the front porch in our rocking chairs and comment on the 'good old days', and you'll complain about wrinkles and I'll tell you you're the most beautiful woman in the world, no matter what. I'll bake you your one hundredth birthday cake, because lord knows how terrible you are at cooking. We're going to have seven, beautiful kids—"

"Seven?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows as my smile grew wide.

"Yes, I intend to form my own Quidditch team," he said, as though it were obvious, and I could not help the laughter that overtook me.

"Only you." I shifted down a bit so that I could lay my head on his chest. I listened to the steady beating of his heart and closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. _There damn well better be billions of those beats left._

"It's why you love me," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled to myself, too.

"So you really want to have kids with me?" I said as James ran his hand up and down my back, gently spreading his warm touch.

"No, I'm just saying this so I can get down your pants," he said evenly. I snorted with laughter and smacked his well-defined chest. Quidditch training really did him good.

"You're not funny," I laughed.

"Really? Because I'm sure I just heard you laugh," he said matter-of-factly, but there was definitely a tint of a smirk in his voice. "Of course I want to have children with you, Lily... you know I love kids. And it's not like I haven't already been down your pants."

It felt like smiling was the most natural thing in the world when I was with James – that night was no exception.

"So James, if _you_ had a year left to live, what would you do?"

He did not reply for a while, and I'd have suspected he'd fallen asleep if it weren't for his continuous caressing of my back. I could almost hear him think, his breathing deep and slow, and inexplicably soothing. I could hear the soft chirping of the crickets, and the lulling crashing of waves against the rocky cliffs nearby. The air was humid, as it always was during those summer nights. I knew James was gazing fixedly at the sky with that twinkle in his eyes he always had when he was lost in thought. And beneath me, I could hear his heart beat faster and faster, and his breath grew shorter and somewhat shaky. My smile wavered a bit, and my anxiousness got the better of me; I pushed myself up into a seated position by his side. He looked at me and imitated me, sitting in front of me. I gazed into his eyes, searching him.

_Those eyes... golden at the centre, fading into a green near the edge..._

James had once told me the gold in his eyes grew more prominent the happier he was. And at the moment, they shone brightly like stars. The worry I was feeling a moment ago evaporated as suddenly as it had come.

"James?"

He smiled lopsidedly at me, the same smile that used to make me feel light-headed in sixth year, when he'd look at me from across the common room. For a moment, I felt like that again.

"Lily, if I do have only a year left to live, I know there's one thing I really want, that I've been thinking about for quite some time," he began, gazing deeply into my eyes, and for some reason, I knew what he was about to say. My lungs felt empty, and my heart thudded rapidly inside my chest. I thought I was going to pass out. "Will you - Lily, will you give me a back rub?"

I gaped at him, dumbfounded. What? _A back rub?_ He had to be bloody joking. I felt suddenly embarrassed. This is what assuming does to a person. But as I was about ready to punch him for tricking me, his grin grew wide and he burst out into a fit of laughter. For a couple of minutes I watched him, crossing my arms and raising my eyebrows. I hated that he'd made me look like a fool.

"Lily, I'm totally joking," he said, wiping away a tear of laughter from his eyes. I did not crack a smile, my cheeks still flushing red with embarrassment. "Lily, what I really wanted to ask you - though now I'm afraid you'll murder me - Will you marry me?"

I had to battle with myself not to smile, but I could not resist it. "You're the biggest jerk on the planet, you know that, love?" I said before grabbing his shirt and kissing him. I could not stay angry with him for longer than a second. That's just how James was - he had to make a joke of whatever he could. I admired it. He was always the one to make the dinner table ring with laughter. And I realised that without that presence, life was not worthwhile. We could cry over what did not happen, we could be angry about things that did happen, but when it came down to it, all that was worth it was a smile.

James pulled back, and beamed, without a trace of mischief in his eyes. "I'll take that as a yes, then?" I laughed and kissed his cheek. His skin was smooth and warm against my lips, and I wanted to kiss him again, but he spoke again. "Don't ever worry about not having enough time, Lily. You know what my dad used to tell me? 'The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death'. No matter what, Lily, I'll be yours, always."

My heart beats were numbered, and so were his, and some day they would come to a stop, but I'd be with him always. Just like the stars above us, we would shine on into the depths of darkness, of death. He was my James, and I... I pulled him into a hug, holding on to him as if my life depended on it.

I was his Lily, forever.


End file.
